In the essay, she has a strong introduction and conclusion. The intro had a very good analogy about writing and building a house. The conclusion was also strong because she explained what she learned in 101. She seemed to just be explaining her other papers throughout the whole article though. She also had poor organization and no transitions between each paragraph. The thesis of the article was "A superior paper is made up of solid research, meaning and all the rhetorical devises, which are just some of the writing skills I have learned this semester in English 101." She supports her thesis somewhat by explaining all the rhetorical devises she used in her papers, but failed to explain the skills she learned in 101 until the conclusion. She uses quotations but they don't seem to be supporting her thesis. They are quotes that she had used in her papers previously and have little or nothing to do with her thesis. This is how our group reorganized the paper:
a. Deletion summary of unit one
b. Introduction stayed where is
c. Second paragraph is the audience paragraph
d. “Many times in order to generate an effective paper…” moved to third paragraph
e. “In some forms of writing, research is necessary in order to back up a specific…” moved to fourth paragraph
f. “In any research paper it is the responsibility…” moved to fifth paragraph
g. “Not only did the unit four paper involve arguing…”
h. “One type of paper to write is based on analysis…”
She feels that she has improved a lot because she had not even known most of the things that were taught in english 101.
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